A note for young Indian adults...

I was in search of the synonym for the word 'Flirt'.I was little surprised to find that it has got meanings at different levels.It can be a sexual(!) or non-sexual types.It is an approachability signal that a guy or girl delivers towards the person of interest.Thanks to google for helping me in the word research.

Now its none of my business to get in to why someone should flirt or not.But the bigger thought process that was nudging me,roots out from some of my observations and conversations that I had with the youngsters and their lifestyle who are in their early twenties.

This happened almost a year back.This conversation arised some serious thoughts about the missing 'values and respect' for true and refined love among today's younsters.

One aquaintance of mine who is in his early twenties asked me

"How did you fall in love?"...
"How should one fall in love?"...

Well...I thought it was a very basic question arised out of curiosity and answered them in a very simple manner.

The guy shooted next:

"All that is fine.I want somebody to love.tell me how to go about it..."

I said "Look love is not something that you can search for.It happens,It is not executed.Now what kind of person do you think would be a perfect match for you?"

He replies "I dunno...".
!!!!!!!!!!!

Though this cannot be taken as the representation of the entire cluster of youngsters ,Iam afraid majority of them dont have an understanding or even the patience to try to understand the morals and the clarity they need to have while they are in search for their soulmates.

The worrisome aspect is, most of them do it as an activity which arises out of peer pressure,the intangible and imaginary image that they would like to create amidst their friends(A friend is not a good friend when he puts unethical pressure),the pleasure of company for pubs-discotheque-eatouts-movies.These kind of picks gets soporific over a period of time.The taste changes.A chick in a sun dress short skirt and simple top might be a better company for a party than a denim clad one.The same is the case with guys.A friday freak might look appealing than a gizmo lover.

The repercussions of these kind of amorous behaviour can lead to dangerous outcomes if taken one step ahead as a physical relationship.

Some say that we(Indians) are in transition phase.The trend of someway somehow trying to 'Sleep first',then later say 'I do' to the one whom you feel çompatible for your life has sprouted.Here,the person with whom you sleep need not be the one whom you marry.According to this transition culture, marriage and pre-marital sex are two independent identities.For them marriage is a too high a price to be paid for a one night stand.

Dear younsters in transition phase....

Trying to move out of the cultural boundary,it is important how you feel about sex personally.It is like when you are hungry, you eat garbage or you wait for the right food.You are indulging in an activity which is described as 'Fornication' in bible.All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.Guilt, embarrassment, distrust are the emotional effects of premarital sex.You will have to live with a guilt factor of hiding it from your life-partner.Your life journey will be directionless and you are fooling yourself.

Leading a life of fulfillment is not merely sex.But also complete understanding between the partners and also raising of a loving and harmonious family.In India,marriage is still taken as an institution where not only two people but two families get united.Few quotations or statements cannot describe the pedestal that India holds in the world map because of its colorful and unique culture.

By all logical reasoning, it is not possible to achieve this sense of fulfillment if the mind is grossly engaged in guilt of commiting a pre-marital sex affair, for it means leading an unfocussed life.


Saying a big NO-NO to pre-marital sex is an ideal and right step towards leading and living life with a sense of purpose,fulfillment.

Disclaimer:

This blog is written on the basis of lifestyle of some young adults in the city I reside and the study conducted by National Institute of Health and Family Welfare,Indian health ministry.Thanks to my hubby for his inputs.The title of this blog has been has been changed after a discussion with him.